Dye-Go Reports

A quick thought on the whole Toronto library thing...

2011-10-29T17:12:00.005-04:00

City councillor Kristyn Wong Tam tweeted this today: "Don't close or sell historic Yorkville library - serves over 42,000! "New library board proposes shutting 38 branches"http://bit.ly/siDa0B"

Again the library issue is at the forefront of Toronto municipal politics now that a new library board has proposed shutting down 38 branches and other cuts. I won't comment on all of these cuts since frankly, I don't know enough about them to sufficiently comment. I will say that closing 38 branches is a bold and worrying move. That is a lot of libraries and I would hope that their closure is not necessary as it is obviously not great news. I will, however, comment on the specific branch the city councillor references. I will also comment on the hysteria that has surrounded the very idea of the cuts. It was a humourously easy target when Rob Ford of all people suggested we don't need as many libraries. The response was an almost expected "Rob Ford hates literacy!" with a sprinkling of "What about the CHILDREN?!" It's been pretty entertaining for me since I generally enjoy seeing people take positions they can't possibly believe. The hysteria around these proposed cuts is disingenuous since these people can't possibly believe a child will never pick up a book if there's not a library on every corner.

Libraries are important. They've served a wonderful role in our communities for many, many years but no one can deny that role is changing. Here in Brampton, my local library recently went through a year-long multi-million dollar renovation and when it re-opened there were less books than when it closed. Library systems across the country and continent are slowly incorporating e-book rentals into their catalogue and one of your public library's best services are the databases they subscribe to that you can access for free with your library card number from the comfort of your own home. The way we receive information is simply much different than how it used to be.

And so having a library less than 150m apart from another library is nothing short of fucking ridiculous.
When you consider that one of the libraries is among the biggest and best in the country, with a collection of over 1.65 million items and the other has approximately 60,000 items, its very existence is laughable. In my short time living in Toronto, I lived in this neighbourhood and one of my first actions as a Torontonian was getting a library card and exploring my local branch. Needless to say, I never found the need to return.

So let's keep every library open forever and ever. Let's ignore changing circumstances, massive strides in technology, budget shortfalls and more for an apparent 42,000 people who can't walk 150 metres.

In a nutshell, why this provincial election SUCKS

2011-09-13T23:31:00.002-04:00

"The only thing more comical than Hudak's denials that he is appealing to xenophobia is McGuinty's pious response. This, after all, is the leader who won the last election on the strength of a cunningly crafted, deftly executed anti-Muslim fear campaign. Thus was a Tory pledge to fund other religious schools the same as Catholic schools turned into a scheme to fund madrassas. As an example, here's McGuinty's opening statement from that year's debate. "When I travel the world on behalf of Ontarians, the first thing [people] say is why have I not seen on your television screens what I have seen on the streets of London, Germany, Paris, the Netherlands? Why is there not more strife, struggle and controversy?" Got that? STRIFE in the STREETS like in - oh, let's choose some places at random, shall we - LONDON, GERMANY, PARIS, THE NETHERLANDS. And his answer? "It's because we bring our kids together in the same classrooms." Because, of course, that was all in jeopardy now. That's how a minor adjustment to schools funding involving just 50,000 kids became the hysterical centrepiece of the Liberal campaign. Essentially McGuinty's message was: my opponent's education funding proposal would fill Ontario's streets with violent Muslims... Just like in - what were those place names, chosen at random, again? - London, Paris, Germany and the Netherlands. So basically this is a campaign between Tim "Foreign Workers!" Hudak and Dalton "Muslim Schools!" McGuinty. That's not to say there weren't legitimate criticisms to be made of Tory's schools policy, as there are of McGuinty's immigrant jobs program. But the tone, the proportion, and the degree of focus a campaign gives an issue tell you what's really going on, beneath the surface."

Andrew Coyne tweeted this a few days ago. Being that it was obviously a multi-part tweet, I couldn't share it that way. But I still felt a need to get people to read it somehow. I hate to raise such a typical criticism but our election choices this election are freaking awful. For the first time in my voting adult life, I can sympathize with people who say they're not planning to vote because it's pointless. Ugh.

Why students have a special advantage in strategic voting this election

2011-04-18T20:54:00.006-04:00

I always find I'm in an odd place during election time. You see, people tend to naturally make friends with other people who have similar political leanings. Based on the vastly different social policies of different political parties, it just usually happens this way. So my Facebook feed has naturally been full of links to satirical websites about Stephen Harper or news articles about the NDP surging in the polls with messages of how happy this makes them. The bad part? We're all preaching to the choir.

Now as a pretty argumentative person, this doesn't work so much for me. I love to post this stuff as much as anyone else, but I live for the moment when someone posts a comment and disagrees with me. A challenge has now been made. And I must do my best to change their mind.

We can all complain about why on Earth anyone would vote Conservative. But the fact remains that a whooooole lot of people are and so to get the opportunity to talk to a real live Conservative and not try to fix them is just a waste.

However, I've pretty much given up on this opportunity presenting itself for this campaign. Which, 4 paragraphs later, brings me to the actual topic of this blog: something I can argue with my friends about for this election - strategic voting.

Strategic voting is not what it used to be in today's political climate and information age. Firstly, it no longer means "Vote Liberal so that the Conservatives don't win." Or at least not exclusively. With the NDP currently polling as high as tied with the Liberals, strategic voting is as important for the NDP in some ridings as it is for Liberals. And in today's information age, these things are easy to find out. Great websites like Swing 33 and Project Democracy have popped up during this campaign that use former election results, polling, and more to show the ridings where strategic voting could play a major role. But strategic voting can be even more...uhh... strategic than that.

Students living away from home have a special opportunity in this election. They can choose to vote in the riding they go to school in or their home riding. If you fall into this category, you should immediately be checking one of the above two websites. Personally, in 2008, I was living at the University of Toronto in probably the safest Liberal riding in the country, Toronto Centre. I had thought my home riding of Brampton-Springdale was also a very safe Liberal riding so decided to just vote my conscience in Toronto Centre. I was very wrong and the Conservatives missed out on Brampton-Springdale by only 773 votes (or 1.7%). In nearby Brampton West, they missed out by a mere 231 votes (or 0.4%). Things could easily not go so well this time around.

For my fellow left-wing/centrist students from Brampton, I urge you to walk the walk this election. It is not enough to post things to Facebook about how much you hate the Conservatives. It is not enough to agree with your friends who post similar things or to "Like" those posts. And due to our broken electoral process, in today's age to be an informed voter, it requires more than just understanding the parties' various platforms. You must also know your local candidates as well as their chances of actually being able to see through those platforms.

I implore you to look at the two ridings you have the privilege of voting in and decide which riding needs your vote the most. Students have a unique opportunity that not many other people have. Why not use it to help create the Canada you want?

A possible shift in Canadian politics

2011-04-13T16:09:00.002-04:00

At the beginning of this 2011 election, I thought the NDP would take a hit due to what seemed like an increasing need for strategic voting on both sides of the aisle. But it's seeming now that the once-mighty Liberal party will no longer be the go-to they once were.

It used to be the case that somebody ascending to the Liberal leadership pretty much meant they were Prime Minister in waiting. In 2008 with Stephane Dion, it seemed as if the Liberals awful performance in that election was simply an anomaly. But with a new leader and 3 years since then, this is clearly not the case.

And yet Stephen Harper is hardly a popular leader. In this, his third election, it is very unlikely he'll be able to capture that majority. He's often criticized as being robotic but this almost works in his favour as he is neutral enough to be "the choice for now" while we seemingly wait for the Liberals to get their act together.

After 2008, there were some murmurs about a merging of the left in order to consolidate that support. But deep down, everyone kind of thought "That's ridiculous; it was just one bad election campaign."

Fast forward to today and due to just how much the Liberals are behind the Conservatives, it's evident that strategic voting probably won't even work. The very purpose of that strategy is to do the logical thing and choose one evil over the other. However, this only works if the two sides are fairly close in support. This is no longer the case. These people now realize "We're going to have a Conservative government anyways; I might as well vote my conscience."

This was more-or-less how the NDP were able to pick up 8 seats in 2008. While my question before was whether they are going to be able to keep those pick-ups, it's now whether they are able to increase on that number and begin a parliamentary shift. In the English debate last night, Michael Ignatieff did not show off his Harvard debating skills. On the contrary, Jack Layton, by almost all accounts, was wonderful. For the first time since he started saying he was "running for Prime Minister" a few years ago, I was able to take him seriously. And for the first time, when Iggy tried to keep the narrative at "This election is really between two choices" I considered that he could very well be wrong.

Let me be clear (to steal Stephen Harper's favourite phrase): the Liberals will surely do better than the NDP in this election. However, if the NDP is able to ride debate momentum and improve on their 37 seats, we could be looking at an NDP government, or at least official opposition, sooner than some people think.

My Friday Night, feat. Baci

2011-02-25T22:09:00.005-05:00

As I sit here consuming an entire box of chocolates on a Friday night while watching Thursday night's NBC shows, I can't help but think that the folks over at Baci don't really know their market. For those who aren't familiar, Baci is the slightly less delicious Ferrero Rocher and each chocolate comes with a fortune-of-sorts in 5 languages. Here are mine:

Till I loved, I did not live enough

The night is silent and in its silence, dreams are hidden

To love a person is to learn a song that is in their hearts

What is a kiss? It is a pink exclamation mark in "I love you!"

I loved you at first sight. And you smile because you know it

The sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer

Oh and I opened another box because I wanted just one more. I was greeted with this hilariously patronizing one that even I'm offended at: "Given the right chance, women are capable of anything." Thanks Baci.

Isn't chocolate supposed to be comforting?

Disembodied Hippie Head on Kirby Road

2011-01-04T18:11:00.006-05:00

Since I've been posting about Kirby Road, Selina Degasperis and the legends that surround the two I've gotten a couple of hits every day from all across North America and elsewhere. It seems there is indeed consistent interest in this case and so I'm glad this blog can be an educational spot in people's research, even if it disproves some of the more exciting but exaggerated stories told elsewhere on the web. To those unknown visitors stopping by, feel free to leave a comment on what brought you here or any experiences you've had personally on this road.

Unfortunately, I don't have too much more to add now except for an interesting find by a friend of mine when she was looking for Selina's tombstone on Google Street View:

It appears to be a disembodied head of sorts... He may also be a hippie. Now Google Street View is known to have its glitches so this could of course be one of those unexplained glitches. But it certainly is odd and perhaps of note in some way.

The anniversary of Selina's birthday is coming up the 15th of this month. She would have been 33. I'm trying to plan an outing on this night. For kicks, I also plan to make a mixed CD with the top hits from the week she died. Clearly, I'm not very experienced in this whole ghost hunting thing. But if I was a ghost and someone visited me on my birthday while playing "I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)" and "Whoomp! (There It Is)"... I'd respond.

Who is Selina Degasperis?

2010-12-08T17:16:00.010-05:00

A few days ago, I posted a blog about the supposedly haunted Kirby Road in Vaughn, Ontario and my visit there in the dark of the night. What I left out, for the sake of brevity, was practically everything I've found out about Selina, the deceased teenager who's tombstone sits mysterious at the side of that road. The blog I referenced earlier (and one I would highly recommend for anyone interested in more stories of these supernatural occurences) was able to find the summary of an old newspaper article which reports the death of a Sellina[sic] Degasperis on November 1, 1993. Though the spelling of Selina's first name is incorrect, this is indeed the Selina who's tombstone sits on Kirby road. I can conclude this because through tireless research that made it feel as if I was in my own Lifetime Movie, I was able to find the full Toronto Star article (click to enlarge):

There are some rumours that have circulated the internet that try to explain why Selina is haunting Kirby Road. Many of these stories are connected to another supposed haunting on this road that involves a house and barn now known as the "Hell House" and rumoured to hold KKK meetings in the past. Some accounts say that the father of this household went crazy and killed his whole family. Others go as far as to say Selina was his daughter who he killed because she began dating a black man. If the above article is not enough to prove this theory totally wrong, I found this fairly recent Church bulletin in which a mass is dedicated to Selina on the 17th Anniversary of her death. Clearly, Selina still has a family who loves her and clearly this family is Catholic. The KKK and Catholics don't typically get along.

It seems if Selina Degasperis really is haunting Kirby Road, her story is not as interesting as some people would hope. But in an incredibly shocking turn of events to me, I was able to learn this story. You see, after finding all of this fascinating information on this haunted road and the ghost who inhabits it, I happened to begin telling my mother the story. Before I could finish the story about Selina who got into a car accident on Kirby Road, she interrupted me with "Selina? Selina Degasperis?" My mother knew her name. Evidently my mother, and my father, went to her funeral. It may be a bit stereotypical to say that all Italians who frequent Woodbridge know each other but this appears to be the case here. My uncle owns a plumbing company (I know. The stereotypes are getting worse, aren't they?) and apparently, was quite close with Selina's father who owned a company in a similar field. According to my mother, the girls in the car were all travelling to school and Selina, who had just ironed her school uniform that morning, did not want to ruin her freshly pressed outfit with a seatbelt. The consequences of that choice are clear

There are still many mysteries though. Why did this seemingly normal family put such an odd tombstone at what appears to be the place of Selina's death? Though it may be common to have some sort of roadside memorial, it is usually in the form of a bouquet of flowers or something more... subtle, and frankly, less expensive than a tombstone. What does the "I'm a cute kid" refer to? And are all accounts of seeing this young teenage girl in the area simply fabrications or does Selina Degasperis have some reason to stick around Kirby Road that we're missing. One thing is clear. Selina is not burried at that Kirby Road site, according to her obituary:
I plan to visit Queen of Heaven Cemetary the next time I visit Kirby Road. I have tried to find Selina's family to see what they think of these stories but so far, have had no luck. I also plan to see if I can find Selina's funeral card, as my parents have the odd habit of keeping these sorts of things. For these, and perhaps even some unexpected discoveries... stay tuned.

The Legend of Kirby Road

2010-12-05T02:54:00.011-05:00

For many years I have heard about the infamous Kirby Road in Vaughn, Ontario but it wasn't till recently that I finally was able to look into it. I was driving to a pre-wedding party for my cousin at her groom-to-be's house and noticed that the road his house was on, Stephanie Blvd, was right off of this Kirby Road I had heard murmurs of before.

Supposedly, this road often fools with your radio, your car will not start and all sorts of things that lead people to believe it was haunted. When I researched this, I found this wonderful blog which I owe a great deal of credit to for my further discoveries, as she was able to explain some of the legends surrounding this road and the supposedly two haunted houses there, as well as the solitary tombstone of a teenage girl located on the road. I'll be focusing on one aspect of the haunted Kirby Road on this blog:

"There [are] three stories concerning these houses. The first house is reported to have a reputation of crying babies and laughing children that are not there and a tomb stone with the words “Selina, I was a cute child” written upon it nearby the house. It is also reputed that if you park your vehicle on the driveway and sit quietly the little girl “Selina” will run around your vehicle all the while tapping on it here and there"

Sure enough, I just came back from visiting the site for the first time and eventually did find Selina's tombstone. The tombstone is unique not only because of the very peculiar "I'm a cute kid" epitaph but because of the lack of last name, typeface, and obviously the location. It is located 3 lampposts from the supposedly haunted house, a house my companion and I had decided we would go see after the tombstone. However, plans change.

We did not see an apparition of Selina, hear her cry/laugh or see anything spookier than any rural road at 1:30am would be. But part of the legend of Kirby Road includes a truck that will suppoedly chase away anyone who comes to investigate and then suddenly disappear. Some accounts say it's red, some that it has only one headlight. After we were done looking at Selina's stone we decided to wait till one moving car passed by so that it would be slightly safer to walk back on the shoulder of the road. But the car did not pass. It pulled over. Right in front of us and Selina's tombstone. A pickup truck but one with both headlights and one that we believed to be black. The windows were not rolled down and nobody got out of the truck. My companion and I found that as good a time as any to get out of there and proceeded to walk back to my car, which I had parked over at Stephanie Blvd. just under half a kilometre away. The truck did not move from it's place. For at least 5 minutes. I remind you that this was at approximately 1:30am. I suppose it is entirely possible that the driver just saw two people at the side of the road and decided to pull over and see what was going on. Or that they too knew that Selina's tombstone was there and just happened to be visiting at the same time. But the fact that nobody ever got out of the car or approached us in any way is peculiar. And the fact that it was a pickup truck is at least eerily coincidental.

We didn't get a chance to investigate the house. I know I will certainly be making another trip there as I still do have so much left to discover. Who is Selina? Why does she have a tombstone at the side of the road? Which stories about Kirby road are true and how are they related, if at all? I'm being a little dishonest here as I have discovered the answers to a few of these questions already. But we'll save that for another time for now.

Why strategic voting is hardly the evil people think it is

2010-10-22T21:26:00.004-04:00

For a while now, I've had a confusing relationship with the major blogs dedicated to the city of Toronto. I thought that Blog TO had won this eternal battle with Torontoist but then they had to go and publish this self-assured tripe about strategic voting. Torontoist, on the other hand, said they would be announcing their choice for Mayor tonight and followed that with this wonderfully communicated endorsement of George Smitherman. I was surprised to read how they had expressed something I'd been struggling with so much in this blog, one I've been procrastinating for some time.

We are three days away from the election and the fact remains that there are two choices for Mayor. Two. That's it. There will be more names than this on the ballot. You will have heard about at least three of these names. None of them are going to be Mayor.

As the 3rd place guy, Joe Pantalone's team would love to convince you that he has a shot here. It probably was a good idea for him to stay till nearly the end since you never know what can happen. That's just politics. Frankly, I personally was hoping for a turnaround but it was a turnaround that never came about. The writing is on the wall is as clear as it can be. A candidate polling 16% at best is not becoming the next Mayor of Toronto. It is especially interesting to note that when Pantalone's numbers go up in these polls, Smitherman's go down. Few people, if any, are choosing between casting their ballot for either Pantalone or Ford.

Opponents of strategic voting love to get up on their pedestal and preach about the meaning of a vote, and practically conclude that a strategic vote is equivalent to selling your soul. I think the editors of Torontoist put it the best though:

"Voting is and always should be an act of conscience. But our consciences must weigh many things: which candidate best represents our views, yes, but also the overall political landscape and the potential effects of each candidate's victory or defeat. It is naive and simplistic to say that the only thing that matters, the only thing that should matter, is getting to vote for the person you like best, as though your relationship to the election ended as soon as your ballot was cast. It doesn't. We live with the results of our voting for years"

As loyal readers of this blog know (all... 3 of you, maybe?), months ago I personally chose Sarah Thomson as my Toronto mayoral choice. Eventually, when she realized it was clear she was not going to win, she left the mayoral race for the good of the city. She endorsed George Smitherman, an endorsement that certainly helped bridge the at-the-time huge gap between the two front runners. Not reported often is that though "dropping out," she will still be on the ballot. As will Rocco Rossi who has also withdrew from the campaign. Both Thomson and Rossi withdrew after the deadline to take their names off the ballot and therefore, their "withdrawals" are really more in spirit than anything else. People who like to shout to the heavens about the evils of strategic voting would, I expect, say Thomson and Rossi supporters should still vote for Thomson and Rossi. Sane people would laugh at them.

I'm not crazy about strategic voting. Well nobody is; that's kind of the concept. And sure we need voter reform, but that ain't happening in the next two days. The fact is that a vote for Joe Pantalone is a vote for Rob Ford. Hopefully people will realize this.

YouTube Quote-of-the-Day is back! People still dumb.

2010-09-21T19:48:00.005-04:00

Yes, I know, it's been a while. But I was just thinking about how I had promised to move my "YouTube Quote of the Day" to this blog and came across some interesting things. For those who don't know, on my MSN account, I liked to write down hilariously dumb YouTube comments I found. The problem with this was that I often had to shorten them and everyone would miss out on the true brilliance of these comments. This blog is kind of about that.

In what seems like an unrelated note, don't you find it wonderful when someone is trying to be nice but what they say is actually incredibly offensive and awkward? This is rather vague so I'll give you a scenario. There is a particular musical artist I enjoy who happens to be gay. On YouTube, people who don't know him so well will often make comments such as "Is he GAY?!" At which point ignorant but well-intentioned fans will post something like "NO, just because he sings like this doesn't mean he's a fag, asshole!" Not realizing that by treating it as an insult and thus trying to be nice and come to somebody's defense, they've kind of been much more offensive than the original person. This is just one bad example. I wish there was a specific term for this phenomenon so I could just direct you to the Wikipedia article. But anyways, this blog is kind of about that too.

My tangents get even worse here, but I'm working up to something, I promise. Upon reading my unauthorized Oprah biography (it's by Kitty Kelley and it's awesome; you should all get it), it alluded to the brutal police beating of Rodney King. I'd heard the name before but not too much about the situation. In a nutshell, black man beaten by about 6 white LAPD police officers, somebody tapes it, police officers eventually charged, everyone is surprise-surprise acquitted, Los Angeles gets mad. Really mad. Hence the 1992 Los Angeles riots. Within these riots, a man is taken out of his truck in the middle of the street, beaten to a pulp, and left for dead because... ummm... he's white and stuff... Evidently there was footage of this too, taken from a helicopter (Don't worry, it's not very graphic).

Anyways, I've embedded this video, but really, the joy is all in the comments. Of course I told myself NOT to read the comments because as a general rule of thumb when the word race is even used in discussion about a video, DON'T look at YouTube comments. But I also never listen to this voice of reasoning within me. And naturally the comments included the ol'

"That whitey albino Denny was fucked real bad just like Rodney was. eye for an eye. All square. Cheers."

And

"Hey nigger, if it was up to me you monkeys would still be in chains working the field" etc.

But my favourite would have to be the two highest rated comments. From 2pacbeast with 14 thumbs up...

ah man. i aint racist man. i know how these black ppl were stupid as fuck man, but that was a black dude that resuced him. and when 2pac started out as a rapper, i didnt really like that thug life shit man. but later on in his career, he rapped bout positive things. i mean i know how most blacks are dumb, black kids talk shit bout me all the time at my school. and im BLACK. but hey. that's life. thats why im doin good in school and trying to be somebody man. you feel me.

And from KoomLoom with 4 thumbs up...

Well it was a black man who saved him. So all niggers aint bad. It took a lot of courage to save a white man in a times like these , in the middle of a racially motivated riot. He could have been killed just for helping him. There is idiots in every race. like those guys who beat this trucker.All you racists out there no matter white or black, there might come a day when people from another race could save your life. Then your glad that this people didnt care about your skin color.Peace

This second guy's quotation, besides losing all credibility within the 2nd sentence, can be summed up with... 'Member dat seen frm CRASH wit da FYRE?!

Ugh... society hurts sometimes...

Why do municipal mayoral elections always suck?

2010-08-19T15:20:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, I spent the better part of the afternoon trying to fully grasp the situation with the upcoming Toronto mayoral election this October 25th. After an afternoon of reading and research, I found this was nearly impossible. It is pretty difficult to get a grasp on all the potential candidates when there are thirty-four potential candidates. This does not even include the eight candidates that have withdrawn and the one candidate that died. Yes, that's right. When you have 43 registered candidates in a year-long campaign, I suppose it's perfectly natural for one to drop dead along the way.

At least three of these candidates' campaign websites are simply BlogSpot pages. And if you were wondering (and I'm sure you were), I have more followers than all three of them. The candidate list also includes a white supremacist named "Don Andrews" who runs for mayor almost every election and a homeless man who ran his last campaign from a homeless shelter and has over 90 convictions. But enough about these fringe candidates. On to the current front-runner:

This is the man who just recently widened his lead in the polls, with almost 38% of decided voters saying "He's our guy!" The man who is on record saying things as eloquent as...

"Those Oriental people work like dogs. I’m telling you, the Oriental people, they’re slowly taking over." – March 5, 2008

And

"If you are not doing needles and you are not gay, you wouldn’t get AIDS probably, that’s bottom line. These are the facts." – June 29, 2006

Clearly, we have a problem in this city when it comes to Mayoral candidates. It almost makes me want David Miller back. But I also remember the ridiculous candidates in the last Brampton mayoral election. It seems that for some reason unknown to me, municipal politics attracts people who are seemingly insane. There are surely fringe candidates in Provincial and Federal politics but this is usually limited to one or two per riding.

Is it the association with a political party that makes candidates better at being politicians? Would, for example, the Conservative Party of Canada's political machine be able to reign a person like Rob Ford in? "Hey... take it easy on the 'orientals' for a bit Rob..." Nobody likes the seemingly inhuman career politician but there has to be some sort of medium where Toronto is not embarrassed on an international stage due to comments like the ones above. And it is personally embarrassing to me that some of these people have even been given the opportunity to run. How easy must it be to run for Mayor if people who can't even seem to proofread their free blogs are able to do it? It is a beautiful thing that we are all able to partake in the democratic process but with voter turnouts consistently low in any election, how do we really expect people to properly vet and research 34 candidates? By allowing these fringe candidates to simply have their name on the ballot, we are insulting all other candidates, the prestige of the office for which they aspire, and the democratic process itself.

I'm sure there are some great candidates in the 34 who have registered, and beyond that. Personally, I wish John Tory would've decided to run after all. He is a man who has unfortunately been a terrible campaigner but who would probably be a fine Mayor. As for someone actually on the ballot, Sarah Thompson has proven be successful in everything she touches. She's been one of the few bold enough to suggest tolls on Toronto highways at rush-hour, a suggestion many experts agree is a great one but one that is probably not politically expedient. Toronto clearly has a spending and revenue problem and it's nice to see somebody address it without the luminous Mike Harris-esque calls for "Cuts to everything!" that seems to be coming from Rob Ford. The issue with Ms.Thompson is that though poll numbers have improved, there is currently an "anyone but Ford" undertone in the political landscape. This means it is quite possible we will be getting George Smitherman as our Mayor simply because he's 2nd in the polling and people who don't want Ford as Mayor will simply vote for who they dislike a little less.

However this election turns out this Fall, I hope at the very least we learn a lesson which should've been already learned by now: this is not the way municipal elections should be organized.

12 Things I Used To Think Were True

2010-08-18T18:04:00.006-04:00

When I was young, I was stupid. I think this has already been established. Unfortunately, most of these following things were believed to be genuinely true by me as late as a few years ago. I present to you 12 things I used to think were true that evidently... are not.

1. That the "capital" of a place was simply the first letter. E.g. The capital of Canada would be "C."

2. Woodstock (the famous concert) was held in Woodstock, Ontario.

Whoooooo! Parrrrrrrrty!!!

3. John Malkovich was John Cusack (I associated the former's name with the latter's face).

4. Morgan Freeman was Gene Hackman (Ditto)

5. "4:19 Got a minute?" scrawled on a desk was someone telling me to read the bible

"Oh, those sweet Christians!"

6. The Stop, Drop and Roll slogan was what to do when in a fire and not necessarily just when on fire. I.e. If there was a fire before about Grade 7, I would have obediently stopped, dropped, and rolled until somebody came to save me as I thought this was simply the "There is a fire around me" signal

See? It says NOTHING about BEING on fire.

7. I was always told that every 4 years, you add a day to February. I also understood that this addition was cumulative. Meaning one year February would have 28 days, in four years it would have 29, four years after that it would have 30, and etc. Of course, by this theory, February should have a few hundred days by now?

8. That the "R" in "February" was silent like the "R" in "library." Which evidently, is also not silent.

9. I never understood the "Never wear white after Labour Day" rule. The way I saw it you could never, ever wear white. Because Labour Day came one day... and then you weren't allowed to wear it... but it was never made clear when you could start wearing it again. I now believe it is January 1st (The New Year). I may very well be wrong about this too...

10. That "oven" and "stove" were simply synonyms.

11. Bumbleberry was a type of berry and not a whole amalgamation of different berries.

12. That "BETA" really meant that something was just the "better" version. I thought it was a sort of clever coporate slang...

I was once a total douchebag. Whoops.

2010-08-09T16:48:00.008-04:00

Every once in a while, I stumble upon something from my past that makes me want to go back in time and punch myself in the face. Often, this is a school assignment of some sort where my memory of its awesomeness does not quite match up with the actuality of how horrible it was. This was the case with my brilliant short story, "The Mysterios Killing."

However, one can usually attribute all of this to being a stupid kid. Kids are dumb. Without exception. I'm ashamed I ever was one. This is why it makes it even worse when I find douchie stuff I did that wasn't too long ago. Like when I realized a few months ago that I wore ghastly hats all throughout high school or did stuff like you pictured on the right and nobody called me out on this.

I was forced to go through this experience again recently when the wonderful Carmerio, through her ever-admirable stalking ways, somehow found an old website of mine. Anybody remember the hosting website, FriendPages? I had one I made in Grade 8 but kept as late as Grade 10. If I could procure a time machine today, I would probably not go anywhere cool. I would instead go back to this time so I could first ask my friends why they talked to me and then kill myself in a dignified manner. It would simply be the respectable thing to do. And here's why. I introduce you to "@[)@|\/|'$ P@GE 0|= PERFECT PP|_$" :
You might not be able to read the last line. Or perhaps you can and are just so overcome by rage and the urge to stab me in the eyes because you're coming to terms with the fact that you actually just read the words "AnY WaY, l8r MuAh!"

Next stop on this "Diego was once a total douchebag" tour is the G-BoOkY (as I seemed to enjoy calling it). Where this happened:

Some Random Guy says "Wow!"
I dont know why all you girls are even talking to this adam character when hes clearly homosexual. Look at the guy, what kind of a guy says things like OMG!!! Do you actually think that YOURRR perfect!!! Its kind of sad too how he puts up pictures of himself trying to pose like a model and shit, ahahaha, some of the funniest stuff ive ever seen. By the way, i've applied for ugly people .com with some of your pictures, so dont be shocked to see them up there one of these days big guy! Have fun now, all of you PERFECTTTT PEOPLE!!!! LIKE, OMG!!!! ... Just kidding guys, keep up the good work! Great Site
Adam says "To: Some random guy"
I know he said he was "kidding" but Im not sure how real that is. And I know i said I wouldnt respond to these but I feel a need to. First of all as far as the homosexual thing, its called im comfortable enuf with the fact that im straight that i can talk however i want to. as far as the model pics, i never said they were model pics at all. but u did! so ill take taht as a complimnt, thanx. and as for the ugly ppl, one of those pics is on hot or not as we speak.. the lowest its ever sunken to is 8.3 and its risen up to 8.8 so i dont believe we will see it on uglyppl.com. thank you!

You see, FriendPages had its fair share of "haters." Evidently, this is how I responded to them. By posting my scores on the disgustingly superficial Hot or Not to prove that it was statistically proven that I was not ugly. See how clever I was?

Finally, I will leave you with another short story I wrote. Now I remember this being written mostly as a joke. Though reading it back... I have my reservations about that. The number of big words I attempted and failed to use (I at one point use the term "every luxry and refinery") makes me think it's quite possible I actually thought this was good...

The Chronicles of Nameless MacEntire (PG-13)
This story entitled the Chronicles of Nameless MacEntire was inspired by the fuzzy character now on the actual webpage of "photos" entitled Wilber MacEntire. He may look calm and innocent, but it goes to prove that everyone is so much deeper than that. Everyone posseses a soul, a heart, feelings, and mostly... fear.

Wilber MacEntire. What's in a name? Every name has its purpose. Its meaning. Its intentions. Some say every name has a soul. This would be the case with Wilber MacEntire. His name fit well with him. It was sexy, yet formal. His friends called him Willy. If those were his friends... One can't be a friend when it is there lifestyle that has lead to your downfall, can they? Or perhaps they have just intrroduced you to what has been your lifestyle all along. Perhaps your "downfall" only consists of mere obstacles that would be impossible to overcome without these friends. Perhaps it was your original peers who were really your obstacles all along.

Wilber was a simple man. Surrounded with every luxry and refinery a man could dream of. But he was never happy. He never knew why... He'd walk home from work every night to clear his thoughts and each day pass the same place. "Disgay Inferno." It was obviously a stupid name that had stuck with the club. Each day he had wanted to go but could only think of others thoughts. One September evening he could not take the lifestyle anymore. He entered the club. The rest is history. Details do not need to be known. How could they be when Billy Willy himself could not answer many questions about that night? Who's Billy Willy you ask? Well after a crazy dance during "Everybody Dance Now" Wilber had somehow earned that nickname.

He continued on like this. Each night on his way home from work he'd pause in front of the disco. Saw the flamboyant lights and heard the bass of the upbeat music but felt guilty each time he answered. The guild lessened with each visit. That is until he got home. He'd take a look at his wife, Elaine... she was a beautiful woman. She had aged so gracefully over the years. Yet he was still repulsed by her very touch. He felt dirty.

As each night went on, Willy was more and more confused. He always thought he'd be exposed right away. Yet here he was, after months and no one had the sligtest clue. He did not know what to do next. He could not live like this. This was till the day when he decided no more. He didnt want to come out but he couldn't take the pressure anymore. Couldnt take the pressure. Couldn't take the pain. And most of all, he couldn't take the lies. On his 17th wedding anniversary Elaine was really trying to spice things up, but nothing could make him normal again. As she screamed his name, and as they went at it for what seemed like forever he couldnt get anywhere.

What was this mysterious name she was screaming? "Wilber..." It seemed like so long ago. He wasn't Wilber... he was Billy Willy. And it was at that moment that he realized he couldnt live like this anymore. His life was based around one big lie. Every day of his life he had to deceive all those he loved, to make himself happy. But this wasn't happiness. This was just wrong...

Now unfortueately, there is no "next" This is where I leave my readers hanging a bit. This whole story was written in one giant breath and here is where let's just say I lost my inspiration. So, what happens next? I don't even know. Will I complete it? I don't know. But until that time, this has been The Chronicles of the Nameless MacEntire.

(I'd like to give a thanx and shoutout to Jacqui for being my ultmate inspiration and Amanda for being my first reader and encouragement in this proceeding. :-P)

*Sigh* Yep. That just happened. If you would like to see the whole site, go ahead and visit www.perfectestppls.friendpages.com. But I warn you: I couldn't even include all of the douchebaggery in this post.

5 Ways The Japanese Are Totally Weird

2010-08-04T00:32:00.017-04:00

Remember in junior high when everybody wanted to be Japanese? It may have just been the emergence of animé and Manga and all that crap. But more likely, it was because Japan was far from us more than geographically. And pre-teens like to be "weird." We've seen the ridiculous childrens' television shows and equally odd Japanese game shows. But there is so much more to Japan's insanity than Japanese entertainment. And thus, with no actual knowledge of Japanese culture, I present to you the 5 Ways The Japanese Are Totally Weird:

1. They sleep in CAPSULES

Okay, not actually; they just have certain hotels that offer this service. However, whether you watched that whole video or just a small portion of it, you are likely a little bit creeped out. 3 colours in the entire building? Segregated elevators? Alarm clocks made of light? These hotels bring new meaning to the common budget-sensitive traveler's cliché, "It's just a place to sleep." The attraction to this sort of accommodation, besides being amazed at how crazy the Japanese are, is obviously the price. Rates range from $24CAD per night in Sapporo to $59CAD per night in Kyoto at 9 Hours, the hotel featured in the above video.

2. They have CAFE'S for CATS

This is Cafe Calico in Tokyo, Japan. The first of its kind, Cafe Calico opened in 2007 and today, there are 39 establishments listed in the "cat cafe yellow pages." Yes. Apparently, that exists.

For approx. $9, you can have the privilege of drinking tea among the presence of about 20 different cats. This is, of course, after you take off your shoes, sanitize your hands, get your identification lanyard and learn all of the cat cafe rules. Napping cats must be left alone. Cats who resist are also off limits. As are cats with scarves tied around their necks; this means they're still too young to hold. And you must not feed the cats. One can assume that it is these types of pampered, spoiled cats that give cats a bad name. Exhibit A is on your right. And yet I still want to go here SOOOOOOOO BAD.

3. They have forests where people go to kill themselves

Behold, the infamous Aokigahara, the 2nd most popular place to kill yourself in the world. It is beaten only by San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge. (Interestingly enough, it was 3rd for years because our own Prince Edward Viaduct in Toronto had it beat. But then the City had to go constructing that "Luminous Veil." Is it wrong that it saddens me that we are no longer among the best in awesome suicide spots?)

Aokigahara is a forest along the base of Mount Fuji where many people go to kill themselves each year. The trees are so dense that they block out most of the wind and there is a mysterious absence of wildlife. This causes the forest to have an eerie silence most of the time. I suppose people wanted to "rest in peace" (har har har). Anyways, since the 1950's approxiamately 30 people have killed themselves here annually. Here's an example of a dead guy if you happen to be curious. Go on. There's no shame in wanting to look at a dead guy every once in a little while.

In 1970, they began an "annual body search." Yes, like cat cafe yellow pages, this is a real thing in Japan. A team consisting of police, volunteers, and journalists sweep the forest looking for dead guys. I do wonder what type of person would volunteer for a job like that... It could be that they are simply crazy and Japanese or perhaps it is the legend that Aokigahara holds many treasures. There have been reports of findings of credit cards, rail passes, and a wallet with almost $4000 in it. I'm banking on the former they're-just-crazy-and-Japanese theory though.

4. They have indoor beaches. BESIDE real beaches.

You know, I've never understood Sunnyside-Gus Ryder Pool in Toronto. You may not know it by name but it's the pool you pass by on Lake Shore Blvd when coming into the city. Even as a child I found it remarkable because from Lake Shore Blvd you can see the lake is right behind the pool. Why is there a need for a pool at all? While you ponder that thought, I'm just going to have to throw in this:
Only the Japanese would think to open an indoor BEACH. This is the Seagaia Ocean Dome in Mayazaki, Japan. It has a retractable roof, is always 30 degrees Celsius, and as you can see... the actual beach is practically right beside it.

5. Normal roads just aren't good enough for them

The Japanese clearly need to be stimulated at all times. Except for those 9 hours a day when they're okay with being in a pod and not viewing colours, the Japanese need kittens; giant, expensive, unnecessary, fake beach complexes; and an awesomely mysterious place to go to off themselves if it all doesn't work out. Oh, and magical roads that make music of course.

Yes, that just happened. On this road (and there are at least 3 of these across Japan), the pavement is cut into a special pattern which is designed to play musical notes. I assure you again, this actually exists. Whereas us regular North American folk are ecstatic when we drive on a stretch of road that is freshly paved, our Japanese friends' roads literally bring music to their ears.

How the PRESTO Card and Züm Will Affect Public Transit in Brampton and the GTA

2010-07-29T18:14:00.011-04:00

Looks like things may be finally coming around for this city of ours. I spent the better part of yesterday nerdily trying to find out what in the hell the "PRESTO card" is as well as Brampton "Züm" and figured I could write a blog post about something just a little lighter than pedophilia and deaths of drunk driving douchebags (I have too much fun with alliterations...)

It seems once in a blue moon our provincial government does something worthwhile and the Presto card system might be it for the next few years so enjoy the feeling now. As part of Toronto's "bridge and tunnel crowd," (does that moniker work outside of NYC?) I know the feeling of having a fat wallet with very little actual money in it. Instead, I'm forced to carry Brampton Transit tickets, TTC tokens, and a clunky GO Transit 10 ride pass. The Ontario Ministry of Transportation finally realized this is dumb. And as a result, someday soon these schnazzy little things on the left will be everywhere.

The concept is pretty simple:
1) You put money on the card. This can even be done online and additionally, you can set it up so an amount is added automatically each month.
2) You scan the card at every transit stop. This includes the TTC, GO, Brampton Transit, and every other GTA local transit system.

If you use it enough times per month on a single transit system, the card will sense this and you will be paying a monthly rate similar to a Monthly Pass. Otherwise it'll always commute to the cheaper bulk fair (I.e. The same as buying TTC tokens or Brampton Transit tickets). The PRESTO card system is currently already in a number of subway stops and GO Train routes and will roll out on the Georgetown Line and in Brampton Transit this Fall 2010.

Other news coming in public transit is Brampton Züm (umlauts are so awesome). This program might be otherwise known as "what-the-fuck-is-happening-at-Queen-and-Kennedy?" Well I shall explain. Have you ever been on a bus that hasn't been able to accelerate past 40km/hour because as soon as it does there's another stop and some jagoff has decided they need to get off there because it is oh-so-much closer than 20 feet back where everyone else got off? What's that you say? That's every bus experience? Well lo-and-behold Züm, the jagoff proof bus service. Not only will there be less useless stops but busses will come between 7-10 minutes during peak periods, real time information will be electronically posted at stations and terminals, you will be able to get info on your cell phone, and stations will be heated and have security cameras and comfortable seats. Not to mention, as busses go, that's a pretty sexy bus. Just saying. The best part about Züm is that these busses go far. The Queen Street line will go from downtown Brampton to York University. The Main Street Line will go from Sandalwood to Square One. The Steeles Line will go from Shopper's World to Humber College North Campus. If as promised, this program will be the commuter's dream and specifically the student's dream. Brampton Züm Bus Rapid Transit will be implemented in that order with the Queen Street line being the first to begin this Fall 2010.

With these developments, public transit is slowly becoming an actually viable option for people. Add this to the fact that Brampton Transit is supposed to be integrated into Google Maps Transit some time this summer, (I have this information simply because I sent an angry letter to them after the dreadful E-Ride system screwed me over yet again) and perhaps the 11th biggest city in Canada will finally have the public transit infrastructure to start acting its size. It may seem nerdy to be as excited as I am about something as dull as public transit service changes but it's nice to know come this Fall, I'll actually be able to get to my place of employment. A well functioning public transit system is essential to making any city not suck and with Brampton especially, we know we could use all the help we can get in that department.

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Now, a note on this blog...
I'm currently struggling a bit as to the actual direction to take. In my quest to become internet pseudo-famous, I've added this blog to dozens of internet directories which all ask for your site's topic nature and I have discovered it is difficult to name one. I know it is somewhere between politics, opinion, humour, and news and yet these things do not mesh together so fluidly. For now, I shall write it as it comes to me but any suggestions are both welcome and appreciated. I might apologize for this particular entry which may seem a little dry but I figured it would at least be informative. Thanks for reading.

Case in point: I now have to add this stupid "code" for Technorati to add my blog to their database. Claim Token HP79G65P2XBS. There. I've proven I own this blog. Happy, Technorati?

Dalton McGuinty, Douchebags, and Drunk Driving

2010-07-27T13:26:00.015-04:00

Another day and another confusing law passed by the Ontario Liberals. Sometimes I wonder if they just do stupid things so people will recognize that they're doing something. How perfect that I write a blog recently about something maybe-sorta being over legislated and we get this clear government over-reach only a day later.

I am talking about the new young drivers legislation. It means that come August 2010, there will be a zero tolerance policy for alcohol with people under 21-years-old. Please read this infuriating Toronto Star article now. I have to say, perhaps my current YouTube Quote-of-the-Day is on to something: "expalain why the faggot LIEberals and NDickPees keep enacting new laws that make no sense you McGUILTY loving faggot!"

Now we already have many regulations regarding alcohol and driving in this province. In order to consume any alcohol and drive, you must first pass your G1 test, your G2 test a year later, and your G test one year after that. At that point you are allowed a blood alcohol level of up to .05% (.08% being criminal). This is obviously not very much but it generally means you can have a beer or cocktail and feel okay about it. And that you can use mouthwash and not be afraid to drive to work.

Laws like this are created to give the false impression action is being taken when they have no actual logical basis. The article and the government like to mention stuff such as this:

"Statistics show people aged 19 to 21 are nearly 1.5 times more likely than older drivers to be involved in fatal crashes and injuries as a result of drinking and driving."

Firstly "nearly 1.5 times"? Actually? And this is supposed to be alarming? Statistics like this used to back up this argument are simply ridiculous. I can assure you that people aged 19 to 21 are probably "nearly 1.5 times" more likely to get into accidents involving injury or death without alcohol involved. It is common knowledge that young people get into more accidents as they have less driving experience and thus one cannot quote a statistic such as this without recognizing that alcohol consumption is not the independent factor here.

Furthermore, there is never much data about the amount of alcohol consumed in these accidents. There is this false belief in these statistics that any amount of alcohol consumed is the same when we know scientifically that this is not the case. People who get drunk and kill people are just that - drunk. There is a reason we have legislated a legal limit of .08% BAC. It is because that is the amount when your judgment becomes impaired. Accidents are not caused by drivers with between .01%-.04% BAC.

Laws like this are as misguided as proposed laws to ban handguns. These laws assume that the people who already disregard the existing laws in choosing to shoot and kill people will somehow take these new laws more seriously. That people who already drive with BAC's of well over .08% will see these stricter laws and stop. On the contrary, the argument can be made that these laws will only encourage that behaviour. The thought may be "I'm already driving illegally according to this new law. I might as well have a few more drinks."

There is a reason we have the Graduated License System in this province. It is a logical system that works. Once you prove to a licensed driving instructor 3 times over a period of at least 2 years that you know the laws of the road and can drive within them, you are allowed to become a fully unrestricted driver. Adding an arbitrary age limit to this is simply unfair.
This chick deserves a beer
Now where did this law come from? Remember those equally ridiculous laws a while back about how many people were allowed to be in the car of a young driver? You may also remember they were all sparked by a father who had to create some sort of meaning for the life of his dead douchebag son:

Tim Mulcahy, whose son Tyler was killed in a July 2008 car crash after he and friends spent the afternoon eating and drinking at a restaurant in Port Carling.
Tyler and two of his friends died when his Audi veered into a river... Tyler, 20, was in danger of losing his driver’s licence for several traffic charges at the time. After his son was killed, Mulcahy took out full-page newspaper ads urging Premier Dalton McGuinty to tighten rules for young drivers.

Now you just KNOW this kid was a douchebag:
A) His name was Tyler. I have never met a Tyler that wasn't a douchebag.
B) Why the fuck was he driving an Audi? He's 20.
C) His father took out full page newspaper adds. Those ain't cheap. I think we just answered the question in B.

I'll say it: Parents of dead kids piss me off. They create these crusades to make their dumb kids' lives mean something when in reality, this was just natural selection at its finest. Here's an interview with this specific stupid parent. It's not really that important, except for this, my favourite part:

"Tim Mulcahy said his son and three friends had a total of 31 drinks over a three-hour period at the [Lake Joseph] club"

What do you know..? That was so unsurprising my coffee spit me out.

Is pedophilia really THAT bad ALL the time?

2010-07-26T15:56:00.003-04:00

I've been watching lots of The Practice recently. For those who don't know, it's an old ABC show about a small law practice in Boston, MA that does civil, but mostly criminal law suits. Anyways, once is a while there is a victim of rape or pedophilia who doesn't really believe they are a victim but then somebody convinces them and we all see they were in denial all along, etc. This is a common case in all law/police shows and seemingly in real life. The common argument seems to be that they have to face it in order to get past it. Makes sense, I suppose, but I do have a question as to how necessary it all is.

While for many people, accepting and talking about their rape is an important part to the healing process, there seem to be others who would be better off seeing it in a different way. This can be attributed to the old "ignorance is bliss" adage I suppose.

Specifically with cross-generational relationships, there is additional conflict. I have met and known people who have been on the younger end of this and yet do not see it as "pedophilia" and have never felt like victims. For many, it is a discovery of their sexuality, however unconventional. How interesting to note that if certain people found out about it, they would feel necessitated to convince these people they had been raped. Because one is not legally able to consent till 14 (this may actually be 16 now, as I know there was a push to change it in Canada but don't remember if it succeeded), I do wonder how many people have been convinced they were part of a horrible experience when, if left alone, it would have simply been a neutral event in their past. How is it that we as a society can say definitively that 13 year old's do not have sexual feelings that they may want to act on? The idea that preteens are innocent kids that just play with toys and know nothing about sex is as obsolete as it is laughable. I am reminded of an old interview I read with Barbara Gowdy, a Canadian author who had just written a controversial new novel. I would recommend reading the whole interview, but this part was especially interesting:

Q: There's no doubt kids are more overtly sexualized today, but on the other hand there is a lot more social concern about men acting on sexual interest in young girls today than ever before. We're firmly against it, there's almost a hysteria about it.
A: Yes, we believe it's almost the worst feeling you can have, as a man -- sexual interest in a child, girl or boy. It didn't used to be the case. I mean, when I was a girl in the '50s there were what we called funny men or gropers -- the milkman was one, there was a guy down the street who in exchange for a candy would grope you. And we took advantage of that because we wanted the candy. And we knew these men were creepy, icky, and lost in a way, but we weren't frightened by them.

This blog is in no way an endorsement of these "cross-generational relationships." They certainly don't seem normal to me and I can't deny being disturbed when talking to people who engaged in them when younger and see nothing wrong with it. However, I also can't deny that this feeling of disturbance is likely sociological. Logically, I can't find too many issues with an experience that seems to have hurt nobody and yet I am disturbed by it because I know that is the reaction I should have.

Which brings me to the title of this blog: Is pedophilia really THAT bad ALL the time? I can't help but think "Maybe not." Probably. But, like most things in life, perhaps it isn't as black-and-white as we have all seemingly made it.

Quoting Mark Twain

2010-07-22T17:02:00.000-04:00

I always feel like a bit of a douchebag whenever I quote people like Mark Twain. Mostly because I don't know anything about Mark Twain except that I should know more about Mark Twain. I know that and I know he has said/written stuff that is super quotable.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do, than by the ones you did do..." -Mark Twain

I mean how bloody awesome is that? You can quote it as a sign you're about to do something you wouldn't normally do. Or to be all "I regret my past! This quotation therefore expresses this!" The possibilities really are endless.

This is the first picture I've ever seen of Mark Twain

I may have just wanted an excuse to post that quotation without seeming jagoff-y. Let this blog serve as that excuse. Go find a quotation that expresses that.

I've Been Inspired

2010-07-19T16:18:00.001-04:00

I've decided to make my blog not suck so much. I suppose I've been inspired. Mostly by this blog. It's by a girl I met once years ago. We somehow became Facebook friends and I'm happier for it. Though we rarely actually communicate to any degree, she is one of those people I've met who I can imagine I would've been great friends with in different circumstances. It is always odd how you can meet somebody amazing and yet have no basis to actually become friends.

Anyways, I've spent the better part of the day reading every entry and it is simply beautiful, really. I am one part jealous of her incredible artistic skills and one part envious of her brilliant mind.

I like to lie to myself and say I am a creative person but I have always been lacking in the ideas department. When I was younger, my best friend Chris used to always have such incredible ideas. For businesses, for events, for new personal projects. His major fault was that he could never fully stick to anything. Something he would be passionate about one day and would commit hours of time towards, he would have given up on the next, without it even being challenged by any obstacle besides his own commitment to it. I, however, was never able to fault him for it because just as easily as the last brilliant idea, he would come up with a new one that I would be just as excited to see play out.

Like artistic skill, the ability to think big is simply not something I have. This story and revelation is hardly fitting with my resolution to create a great Blog. I will surely need artistic skill and great ideas to be able to achieve this. About an hour ago, I briefly considered taking a variety of courses outside of my comfort zone simply to learn and become better at... life, I suppose. Photoshop, website design, and sewing [of all things] came up. I dismissed the idea as dumb but writing here now perhaps it's not a half-bad idea after all. Simply put, I could use a change of course.

First stop: Good blog

My Incredibly Unorganized Blog About TV

2010-05-19T20:10:00.000-04:00

It's upfront week! And buoooooooooy, do I love upfront week. Even if I just found out what that was less than a month ago... For those who don't know, it's where all the major TV networks give their presentations to advertisers and the like for their fall TV season. This is when we find about all the crappy pilots we will be forced to sit through come September as well as any cancellations and schedule moves the networks are making. Here are some of those notables:

"Ghost Whisperer" has been canceled by CBS. This is seen as one of the bigger shockers this week. I don't know how to feel about it since that show is so hilariously bad that I kinda enjoyed its existence. How much longer will I have to wait to see Jennifer Love Hewitt cry?!
It brings me GREAT pain to say that "Two and a Half Men" will still be polluting our television screens. Though Charlie Sheen did not get his reported $2 million per episode (It would have made him the highest paid TV star ever, surpassing Ray Romano's $1.5 million number), he has agreed to another two years with the show. This makes me want to cry.
CBS has canceled "The New Adventures of Old Christine." (Ironically, about an hour before I found this out I heard my parents watching it in the other room and thought "I'm surprised that show made it this far.") It's not very good at all but I was somehow pulling for it due to my loyalty to Julia Louis-Dreyfus
In fact, CBS is making a big move with all of their comedies. They're moving their other success, "The Big Bang Theory" to Thursday nights. It will play opposite of NBC's "Community" which probably just squeaked by ratings-wise, despite being an incredible show. Following TBBT will be "Sh*t My Dad Says" starring William Shatner, based on the popular Twitter account. It is clear that CBS has chosen this fall to make a real attack on NBC's infamous Thursday night comedy line-up. As it stands now, it will by unlikely for "Community" to come out a winner here... Here's a link about some of the CBS business.
"Heroes" and "Law & Order" have been canceled by NBC. But there will be ANOTHER Law & Order set in LA so... you won't even notice this change.
"Parks and Recreation" will only be a mid-season entry, not starting until January 2011. This makes me LIVID. NBC has decided to replace it on Thursday with a dreadful looking comedy called "Outsourced." In fact, there is not a single show on NBC this fall which looks even a REMOTELY watchable. Take a look for yourself. They ACTUALLY are going to have a show called "The Paul Reiser Show." Jesus, Mary, Barbara and Joseph...
Fox has picked up a show from the creators of Arrested Development and Will Arnett, who also stars in it, called "Running Wilde." This is definitely a show I'll be keeping an eye out for.

And here are links to the full schedules of each of the major networks:
Fox's Primetime Schedule
CBS' Primetime Schedule
ABC's Primetime Schedule
NBC's Primetime Schedule

Lady Gaga Fans Are Stupid

2010-05-06T19:45:00.000-04:00

There. I said it. I am ridiculously tired of hearing about how "revolutionary" Lady Gaga is. I am even more tired of hearing about artists who are trying to "copy" her. Especially when these artists have often been established for years before her. I was exposed to this a few months ago when watching the Walking on Air video, by Kerli. Half of the comments were about how she's copying from Lady Gaga. Despite the fact that the video was released before Lady Gaga had even released an album. And despite the fact that the only similarities between the two are that they are both blonde and dress funny.

However, it is most recently that this debate has truly become heated as Christina Aguilera comes back into the music scene for the first time since Lady Gaga became a household name. Somehow, there doesn't seem to be room for two blonde girls who sing pop music... X-Tina's new look and her video for her the single "Not Myself Tonight" have drawn criticism from some for being too Gaga-y.

In this MSN Entertainment article entitled "Christina Aguilera: Lady Gaga 2.o? 8 photos that prove Christina Aguilera ripped off Lady Gaga" the jagoff of a writer contends that the proof is in the videos. So one might expect this to be easily open and shut. But not so much... this person who has somehow managed to procure a job writing, uses the same inane arguments of someone on a YouTube comment board. And so we shall dissect his/her 8 photos:

1) Finding similarity in a "coyly ignoring fire behind you" shot? I suppose both artists copied Arnold Schwartzenegger and Denzel Washington too, for that matter. If anything, they should both be reprimanded for such an unoriginal idea.

2) Weird glasses? Really? Everything Lady Gaga WEARS is weird and thus one could not wear anything besides standard retail clothing in their music videos without being accused of copying her. And this argument is even ignoring the obvious fact that the eye accessories Christina is wearing CLEARLY would not constitute "glasses." Glasses would require some sort of bridge between the eyes and hook for the ears. These are closer to fake eyelashes, if anything. So the argument boils down to "something on her eyes." Artists will soon be criticized for wearing makeup since Lady Gaga wears makeup.

3) They seem to be confusing alcohol with perfume... did they even WATCH the video? She clearly sprays herself with these perfume bottles IMMEDIATELY after this shot. There seems to be a move towards shameless product placement in music videos. I would hardly consider this mimicry, especially considering the very different nature of the two products, regardless of what this retarded writer would like to tell us. Is Gaga's even "self-branded?" It says "Nemiroff."

4) Tight clothing? Seriously? Tight clothing in a pop video? They went there? And didn't even choose a shot of Gaga in something less sparkly and mystical and more bold and S&M inspired? Really?

5) Now they went to promiscuity in pop videos? Let's not mention that Madonna and X-Tina practically INVENTED that. Not to mention Britney Spear's also infamous "I'm a Slave For You" video which almost rivaled Christina's "Dirrty." All well before Gaga.

6) This one is at least similar. It can be easily argued that sunglasses and bright lips are hardly one person's thing but I'll let this one pass as the only picture so far with ANY merit.

7) They take the promiscuity route again. But this time with an added man on a bed. Which is kind of necessary for the promiscuity. I suppose they should also include Shakira's "Did It Again" here too. In which this is pretty much the whole video. This is just one example off the top of my head from someone who doesn't watch too many music videos. Feel free to contribute your own.

8) These are the exact same points over and over and so we're now back to "sexy clothing." Apparently knee-high boots, maybe the most well known clothing accessory associated with sexuality, have been trademarked by a bunch of alien dancers. I always thought they were trademarked by street prostitutes but that's just me. Perhaps the dancers are in all white because as they've already mentioned... it's a CLONED CHRISTINA. THUS SHE WOULD LOOK THE SAME IN ALL VERSIONS OF HER.

The most ironic part about this whole saga is that in this XTina video in question, there are several DIRECT parallels to Madonna videos. These were intentional parallels, as a sort of tribute, but they're much stronger than this Gaga-garbage. And when considering how much Lady Gaga "stole" from Madonna, this makes the situation all the more hilarious. Lady Gaga has trademarked nothing except having a quota of at least 10 funny hats per video/public appearance. That's it.

UPDATE AT 8:28PM: Just about 30 minutes ago, Joseph Kahn, one of the biggest music video directors of today, Tweeted this: "Studying Kylie's videos. So many things girls doing today people think are new, she already did."

He recently started working with Kylie Minogue. And we don't even have to guess who that comment was directed at...

Oh, PUH-leeze

Love: What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!

2010-05-05T01:34:00.000-04:00

So I was listening to some music (specifically "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum), and pondering schtuff. Specifically, the entire concept of love and relationships and how it is all a little daunting to me. In some ways, I feel as if I am emotionally 9 years old and thus cannot grasp some of what must be this complicated emotion and process.

How is it that 95% of music in general is based on one topic? This is not something that is genre specific (though I suppose, Wizard Rock might be the one outlier... Although I imagine there's a certain degree of Ron-Hermione songs within even that genre...) It is not something that hipster indie music fans can claim to be isolated from. It is universal that if you turn on the radio to any station, the subject matter of almost all of those songs will be relationship based. This is something that has withstood the test of time and yet remains to be true. How has this happened for so long?

In television and movies, people can be "in love" with someone without this attraction ever being mutual or even known by the other party, for that matter. Is this an actual phenomenon or a made-for-TV idea?

If I am feeling powerful emotions that seem to, in my mind, rival these descriptions in the media surrounding me, can I rightfully call that being "in love" with a person? Even writing it, it seems cheesy and yet I am genuinely and earnestly curious as to the answer.

I am not sure if I am simply unfit for relationships or I have been sold a giant lie as to what relationships are. I am not a person who would ever try to directly impress somebody, because I feel it would seem disingenuous. I could never express the full extent of how I feel towards that person, because it would feel emotionally burdensome. And I could never pursue someone if I thought for a second that I would have to "woo" them or have to compete with somebody else. I can't help but thinking that this last point stems more from some sort of self-worth issue, and yet I can't imagine "fighting for someone" no matter how highly I thought of myself. Though being "persistent" is admirable in a romantic comedy, I cannot see it being even close to this in my own life.

It is for these reasons, that joining a dating site the other day created more than just a joke gone wrong. How am I supposed to message people, knowing that not only will I be compared to others doing the exact same thing, but that I might have to tone myself down as a whole for a while?

When saying anything of value, my words already pass through about 5 filters till they come out as disjointed and inconsequential as possible. So that I do not create any issues or an awkward situation that could serve as a gap that could potentially widen one day between me and the person I am talking to. My entire speaking life has been conscientious damage control in which I can only talk in a cryptic code because it is the only way I know to communicate. And since nobody else speaks this cryptic code, I am left broken and alone time and time again, with only the hindsight that "I guess they didn't speak it either." The strangest part about it is that this communication is with people I know well. With people I don't, it is as if the settings on my filters do not know what to do and so simply shut down and I say a whole lot of nothing. As long as it's non-confrontational, a whole lot of nothing will have to do. I have found myself on auto-pilot many times before, thinking "I'm glad this conversation is happening. I'm not saying what I want to say and I'm barely listening to what they're saying but I'm glad we're able to hold a back and forth over anything. Maybe they're enjoying this enough that someday we can have a real conversation."

(I remember a few years back when I had the late night revelation to say what I was thinking for a while. Sitting here now, I look back at that thinking both "Was I ever that dumb?" and "Why didn't that catch on?")

I do wonder what came first, the desire for romantic attraction or the attraction itself. I suppose that's a less ear-pleasing question than the age old "chicken n' egg" conundrum, but I do wonder if there is a large number of people who are simply incompatible. And who have been searching for the "right person" not because they truly want or need someone else but because they have been told enough times that it is what should be done.

The Evolution of Tipping: What exactly are we doing?

2010-04-15T22:19:00.000-04:00

I almost exclusively hate tipping. I do not feel good about it. There is no joy when I'm leaving extra money on the table of a restaurant for a reason nobody is quite sure of. It is simply odd to look at a price on a menu of already marked-up food and realize you will not pay NEARLY the price listed for that item. You would think the $3 for a fountain drink made from syrup and water bought in bulk by the restaurant would be inclusive of all costs but that idea would be laughable. Of course there is 13% on top of this price in taxes and then a minimum of an additional 15% on top of that for this "tipping" procedure we all seem a little confused about.

A synonym for a tip is, of course, a "gratuity." Which one can only assume comes from the word "gratuitous." That is, in theory, what a tip is supposed to be. An additional, extra little something that is completely unnecessary but says "This was especially wonderful. Thank you." So how did we get to where we are now? How is it that to not tip has become the exception? The horrible, socially ostracizing exception.

I would not be the first person to realize or to state that tipping has become an act completely of guilt. By now, most of us are aware that servers are about the sole profession that doesn't qualify for the minimum wage. Instead, they have their own, lower minimum wage. Why? Because the assumption is "Don't worry, they'll be tipped anyways." Furthermore, even if a customer doesn't tip, they'll often have to "pay-out" the hosts, dishwashers and a whole group of people customers never laid eyes on. (In fact, I just read this disturbing article, which shows that a new practice has started: portions of tips going to the restaurant management).

So where does this leave us as consumers? Instead of servers collectively bargaining against these terms of their employment, the obligation has been placed on us as the patrons of the restaurant. It is the one career that society has almost universally decided doesn't pay as much as it should and thus we need to subsidize wages. If we don't tip, these people will be making less than minimum wage. And so we do. And it is charity, not a gratuity. It is an act of pity because of the situation and thus has absolutely nothing to do with the quality of service. If a homeless man came up to you on the street and asked you for money and you felt sufficiently guilted into giving it, it would not matter how he asked you or whether he was smiling. Guilt is a powerful thing that way. You would just do it.

So what are we paying for? As I previously mentioned, the tip doesn't necessarily go all to the waitress. Apparently, when considering how much to tip, you should consider the cleanliness of the dishes you are served on. Or how wide the smile was of the hostess who greeted you and walked you to a table. And the tip should always be calculated by percentage. Even though it may seem logical, considering everything stated above about a server's minimum wage, to simply kick in a few dollars to subsidize their wages this is far from the case. Evidently, if you order an expensive dish such as lobster you should be prepared to pay more in tip than a cheaper dish such as pizza because... ummm... just because. How the price of the ingredients affects the job of the servers is beyond me and yet a $100 meal expects a $15 tip, even if you were in the restaurant for less than an hour. Any less would be a kick in the face.

The evolution of tipping has been remarkable. We are now often given a "tip" option on debit machines and credit card receipts at take-out restaurants. You have not yet seen or tried the food but I suppose you should throw down a few extra dollars in the assumption that it will be great. Or the assumption that the people involved in its preparation are underpaid. Whichever of the two you decide. There are tip jars at your local Starbucks because that $6 coffee you just purchased clearly doesn't include ALL the costs associated in making a coffee. And "tipping experts" in magazines tell you to tip a minimum of 10% even if the service is terrible. "Maybe they were short handed and it was nobody's fault. Even if your waitress was surly, think about the host and the dishwasher!"

It seems it is no longer okay for someone to work for the wage they've decided to work for. We're all hoping for a little something extra and as soon as it becomes routine, it becomes expected. No matter how incredible the service is in a carpet store, you are not going to leave extra cash for the salesperson. The teenage girl behind the counter of a McDonald's may work incredibly hard to bring you your food as fast as possible, but she's lucky if you'll even notice this. The produce boy at the grocery store can go out of his way to get you the fresh broccoli from the back, but an enthusiastic "thank you" is all he will hope for when he brings it to you. This is because it is their job to do these things. They are not doing anything extra. And thus to give them extra money for doing what is in the job description is simply ludicrous.

The Consistently Misunderstood Ann Coulter

2010-03-25T00:53:00.002-04:00

So Ann Coulter seems to be doing some sort of tour of Canada. Not sure what for, perhaps some new book about Godless Liberals and the like. But it's created some controversy. That statement almost seems ridiculous; however, the controversy has not been exclusively surrounding Coulter. The Canadian reception has been... a bit odd.

It's clear that we don't quite GET Coulter. How else could any logical human being explain this letter from the University of Ottawa that has been widely publicized by now? Canada does not have fully free speech. I've blogged about this before as it is something I'm rather happy about. The 1st Amendment of the U.S. Constitution is about as overrated as the 2nd Amendment. However, our slight restrictions that simply ban things like spreading express hatred towards a group hardly apply to anything Ann Coulter has said. She's said some crazy shit. Perhaps it's fed people's hate. But unless she said something drastically different than her usual schtick, there is no way she'd be in trouble with Canadian Law. This was therefore not an actual warning. "Francis Houle" did not feel the need to be hospitable and help Coulter out. And how will she take this? I can only imagine the letter being held up at lectures as an example of the horrible, liberal, free-speech killing Canada.

And then there's this video. *Sigh* There's little I hate more than smart alec-y University students. And questions that are not real questions. This video is ridiculous. The fact that its gotten so much time on the news is ridiculous. I feel I must do something for everybody here.

Let me explain the Ann Coulter process to all those who clearly do not get her:
1) Ann Coulter says something crazy
2) Somebody asks her about the crazy thing she said
3) She uses this as a segue to talk about what she actually meant by it
4) The interviewer cuts her off and sticks to their original point "What you said was CRAZY!"
5) Ann Coulter complains about always being cut off. "It's those liberals that just don't want to listen!"
6) The interviewer dismisses Ann Coulter as nothing but a media whore who says crazy stuff to get attention, not realizing the hilarious irony of that statement.

There are few logical reasons to see an Ann Coulter lecture. You may agree with her and want to hear what she has to say. You may disagree with her but, like any well-rounded adult, want to hear a different perspective than your own. Or you may simply want to be there in case something exciting happens. However, going to a lecture to ask lame, rhetorical questions and then demanding answers to them? Going there simply to Boo at everything she says and scream things like "You can't answer it!!!" as if you've stumped her in this truly pathetic, immature attempt at debate? These are not valid reasons for seeing Ann Coulter. If you truly disliked her that much, you wouldn't feed into it.

Those students and our news media can pretend the camel comment was shocking. But it was exactly what that student had asked for. She could've just as easily have said "Ann Coulter, say something ELSE racist!"

Even with the most horrible among us, a certain mutual respect or at least "politeness", for lack of a better word, is required. Say what you want about Ann Coulter, but she is famous because at the very least, she is interesting. In a Q&A session with these people, we have the option to either ask them real questions or to simply throw insults at them with a rising inflection towards the end of our sentence. The latter may make you feel good for a few seconds at best, but I do wonder what you have learned from that.

Or perhaps the desire all along was simply to sit through the entire speech, ignoring it, ask your carefully written out "question" and to leave, not caring whatsoever what the "answer" was.

Formspring

2010-03-21T11:40:00.001-04:00

Dear all,

Despite what you may genuinely feel, you are not that interesting. I know at the time it seemed like a great idea to have an entire website where you can use your life wisdom to answer anonymous people's questions. I mean surely many people have important questions about your interesting personal life that need to be addressed and you might as well answer them to everybody you know in a public forum. But believe it or not, the majority of people aren't as interested in you as we all would hope.

Sorry,
Me

"The Mysterios Killing"

2010-03-08T20:50:00.001-05:00

"I can't believe it's 12:00 on Halloween night and I still don't know what I am going to be. Well at least I am down to a cop girl, a princess or a fairy"...
"Mom do you know what I could be for Halloween?" said Melanie
"Your right dear that would be cool!"
Melanie now knew that her mom wasn't listening to her she was just saying a bunch of words so that it would look like she was listening, while she was really just painting
"Mom listen... What should I be for Halloween?
"I don't know. Mabey you should be grapes or something. Tie purple or green balloons to a string and tie it around you.
"Mom be serious like come on I'm 17, that's a costume I wore in grade three, and well..."
"I don't know honey let me concentrate."
For hours and hours she looked at magazines, flyers and anything else that would even have one costume but her mind was not really on the papers it was on this guy named Brad. He was new this year and she had already had a crush on him. He had blond hair down to his nose, bangs, and always wore baggy jeans and Nike, Adidas and other name brand tops. He was already talking with the popular kids. She was thinking of asking him to the prom in a few weeks or so.
She finally found the perfect costume that would attract him or as a matter of fact anybody else. It was called sexy cop lady but the price was outrageous. It was $54.99 and wasn't anything that special. It was a cop with a hat and everything a badge, a navy blue short skirt and gold buttons (not real gold) to go with the navy blue top. Of course she wasn't worried about the price because she was at that stage of life where she could buy anything she wanted and her parents would pay for it all. What she was worried about was whether or not her father would let her wear that short of a skirt.
She asked him and things went well after that "you ruined my life" speech. She ended up paying half the price of the costume but he didn't mention a thing on the costume itself. She didn't care about how she needed to pay half because we're talking about a teenage girl here who likes someone, and on top of all that she is encouraged that if she wore a particular outfit it will make him like her. Come on you can't get worse than this.
Melanie looked at the clock and it was 2:50pm, that was about time to get her costume.
They went out and came back at 3:11. That was time to start cleaning up for her party. She thought this was useless because by the time they get out of the house it would look more like a dumpster than a house. It was going to be so fun there was going to be about 7 people being scream so she needed to make nametags that was people could identify them.
Later after everybody had arrived they started partying. Half the people she didn't even know and didn't remember inviting them but she didn't want to mess up the party. It was going perfect and she wanted to impress Brad with the coolest party ever.... Speaking of Brad where was he? She looked around for a long time and was almost crying until somebody walked up to her in some sort of punk costume. It was Brad. He even had a rubber scalp over his hair with long green hair going down the middle in a Mohawk. He was wearing baggy ripped cargo jeans and a muscle top. He asked her why she was crying and right away she said she wasn't.
"Well anyway you got a great party going here and I like your costume"
"Thank you. By the way you know the prom-"
"Melanie" It was her mom
She ran to the kitchen
"Help me put this stuff out."
Her mom left before her, and a person wearing a scream costume came out without a nametag on.
"Didn't I tell you to keep the nametags on. Well what are you waiting for Jack put it on!"
"It's okay. I'll be the one without it."
"That's fine with me if you want to tell everybody here that!"
"Well okay. Anyway where is the pop? I'll help you."
"In the fridge on your right. Don't eat or drink anything yet."
"Oh! Okay I'll see you later."
He did see her later that night.
"Oh! Jack your back already." Said Melanie "the chips are in the cupboard
I thought I told you not to eat the food yet. Now you made a mess of yourself."
As she walked up to him with a napkin to clean up a little he pulled out something.
"Oh that looks just like scream's. Why do you have it here "You can put it away now it's
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
She fell to the ground in one loud scream. The music was shut off and everybody came to the kitchen. Nobody was there except Melanie but she wasn't alive. Seconds later Jack came through the door from the bathroom. From this day forward nobody but me knows who killed her and why. I know that it was Jack Bulavard and the reason I know that is I am he.
Well Happy Halloween!
Hope you don't have one like hers.
Bye!

Oh no! Something might CHANGE in CANADA!!!

2010-03-03T20:50:00.002-05:00

Today was the Conservative's Throne Speech to reopen parliament after they decided to close it down since before Christmas just for kicks. And while it was widely denounced as "old stuff" (the word "continue" was apparently used approx. 30 times), there was one rather interesting idea. The idea was bold, especially for the Conservative Party of Canada, and I predict will soon be seen as a sort of political attempted suicide: It was to perhaps consider a minor change to the Canadian national anthem.

Here is the thinking as stated in a great CBC article on the topic:
"O Canada includes the lyrics "true patriot love in all thy sons command," and there may be interest in changing that line to something more inclusive."

Thus the government has suggested that parliament review this. Naturally, this has lead to all sorts of outcry. Picture the "Ohhhhhhhh BROTHER, why do we have to be so POLITICALLY CORRECT?!" crowds coming out in full force. I can be a regular Nostradamus here and predict that they will talk about how this is HISTORY and shouldn't be changed.

Except that this argument seems to ignore the facts. Much like the infamous chain email I've previously written about, Canadians evidently know very little about our national anthem. In fact, it was news to me today to discover it's only been used as the national anthem since 1980. The better half of us know it was based on a French poem. The current English version is based on a poem by Stanley Weir, written in 1908. That poem opened "O Canada Our home and native land! True patriot love thou dost in us command." Thus the line in question was not even in the original English version of the anthem. The line was added in 1968 by a joint committee of MP's and senators. It is clear that people will soon consider it blasphemous to dare changing the anthem. Even though it has already been changed... numerous times... in numerous different ways.

This is simply another case of people not liking change for any actual, logical, real reason. It is a combination of this apathy when confronted with change and this ignorance of Canadian history that this situation brings out in Canadians yet again. I am reminded of referendums in Ontario and B.C. for proportional representation that failed simply because people didn't feel like learning a new way to vote. I am reminded of late 2008, when Stephen Harper was able to convince Canadians that the planned Liberal-NDP coalition government was undemocratic and unconstitutional, when in reality it was none of these things.

We will now create feigned outrage over something we do not understand. It is a change no one seems to argue about on the actual substance. No one can seriously say the mildly sexist lyric we've been singing is any better than the words as originally written by Stanley Weir. Thus we will simply argue with cliches about "political correctness" and phrases like "enough is enough!" This is nothing but the New Coke saga all over again.

Some have argued that this is not what the government should be focusing on and all the regular tripe about priorities. However, there always seems to be something more important than minor instances of ingrained inequality. These are the same people who think fighting for animal rights is pointless, or even stupid, since human rights are not in a perfect state. And the same people who give you a deer-in-the-headlights stare when you tell them that believe it or not, you CAN walk and chew gum at the same time.

This was anything but a smart political move from the Conservatives. However, as a small step towards equality in Canada... it's not a half bad attempt.

Here's the great CBC article on the topic for further reading:

Women's hockey might disappear... because certain teams are good at it...

2010-02-27T03:04:00.000-05:00

With Canadian women winning their 3rd straight Olympic Gold medal, there is both a lot to celebrate and a lot to be worried about. Every Olympics, there is annoying banter about women's hockey being dominated by one or two teams and talk that it should not even be an Olympic sport. Once again this has become a topic of discussion as seen HERE.

What is most frustrating about the suggestion that women's hockey be removed from the Games is that the suggestion ignores both the history of the Olympics and the reality of the state of the game. The position this argument takes is that women's hockey is dominated by Canada and thus it becomes uninteresting to watch since the final will always be Canada V.S. The USA with Canada winning in the end. While it is very true that these two teams dominate the sport, there are some fundamental issues with this argument:
1) Women's hockey has only been in the Olympics since Nagano 1998. That's 4 times. Even if the results were the same each of the 4 Olympics, its such a small data sample that it's hardly cause for worry at this point so shortly after its Olympic debut
2) The results are NOT so set in stone. Canada has not won every time. The US picked up the gold in 1998 and have won the world championship for the last 2 years, over Canada. Thus this is not a case of one team dominating, but if anything, a case of two major rivals. This is not unlike the many USA vs Mexico finals in CONCACAF soccer. Furthermore, in the Turin 2006 Olympics, Sweden was able to surprise everyone by beating the USA and making the gold medal game where they lost in a respectable 4-1 win for the Canadians. This year, Finland was able to beat out Sweden for the bronze medal. Even if the competition is in a small handful of teams, there is definitely competition there.
3) The argument ignores the history of SO many sports in the Olympics and the nature of the Olympics. There are MANY sports in which certain countries are very dominant. Take table tennis for example. Since its debut in the 1988 summer Olympics, China's women have not ONCE failed to take the gold medal. In 2008, they swept the podium in the men's event AND the women's event, taking all 6 medals. As well, they took gold in the men's and the women's team event. That's 8 medals. For one event. Fucking table tennis. Look at pairs figure skating. This year was the first since 1960 in which a Russian team did not win the gold medal. In fact between 1960-2010, they would often win the silver medal as well as what became their assured gold. Nobody would DARE to challenge whether or not figure skating was a viable Olympic sport even though the Russians have clearly dominated for decades.
4) In a related, but interestingly separate point the suggestion ignores the history of Olympic HOCKEY in general. From 1920-1952, when the sport was first in the Olympics Canada won 6 golds, and 1 silver. From 1956-1992, the Russians won 8 golds, 1 silver, and 1 bronze. The sport clearly took DECADES to develop and yet I highly doubt there was outcry over this. The fact that the women's sport is being suggested for exclusion when it has not displayed nearly as much single-handed dominance begs the question of whether there is sexism in play here.

The whole discussion has really irked me in these weeks surrounding the Olympics. By all logical accounts, the argument to exclude women's hockey contradicts both the facts and the Olympic tradition. Women's hockey is indeed growing worldwide. 2 of the 8 teams in this tournament made their Olympic debut and this is a trend that will continue. To give up on the sport now would be nothing short of shameful.

Canada's Culture of Mediocrity

2010-02-21T17:11:00.000-05:00

Another day at the Vancouver 2010 Olympics and another disappointment from the Canadian team. As we now trail South Korea in the medal standings (Read: FREAKING Korea!), there's some mumbling in the collective Canadian crowd that this whole "Own The Podium" thing isn't going so well.

Just now Canadian athletes took the one event that had a possible sweep in the medals... and managed to place 4th, 6th, and somewhere even further than that. Last night, the Hamelin brothers were in a final race where the only way they couldn't medal was to place 4th and 5th in that race. They managed to do this. In the women's Skeleton, Melissa Hollingsworth was 1st in 5/6 of the training runs. The one time she wasn't, it was a Canadian who beat her. In the actual event, 5th place was the best result for a Canadian. Something like 12 million Canadians were watching when Sydney Crosby scored the last penalty shot against Switzerland in shootouts. But less seemed to be asking "Why the FUCK are we in shootouts against bloody Switzerland?!"

It might be crass to say that these finishes are disappointments. It's hard to frown upon a top 5 finish in the world and I do expect the "Can YOU do any better?!" reaction to this blog... This is evidently the reaction to most of this as shown on Twitter and other forums nationwide. A quick search will find comments like "Davey Barr elated with 6th place, Delbosco will be bummed with 4th. But they were part of historic Olympic debut for skicross" as if that is any consolation. I saw a trend yesterday where we were supposed to be happy for the Hamelins because "Who could say they competed in an Olympic final with their brother?!" Not only can many people say this, but these consolation prizes Canadians seem to create as soon as somebody loses are actually remarkable.

This would only happen in Canada. Only in Canada would commentators remark that "It's a personal victory for Delbosco even being here!" after the loss because he once drank and smoked weed. Only in Canada would commentators ignore the fact that Jessica Gregg was in the women's short track 500m final as well as the silver-winning Marianne St-Gelais. And that she lost to a 19 year old Italian skater that wasn't even expecting to be there. That race was a perfect testament to many events at this Olympics. An Italian skater who was able to do better than expected and win a medal against the odds (Something no Canadian has seemed to do this Olympics) and a dominant Chinese favourite who did what favorites do and kicked ass. Unlike our examples such as Jeremy Wotherspoon, the world champion and world record holder who somehow managed to finish 9th in his event. China is of course a perfect example of favourites showing WHY they are favourites, as seen by their suspicious lack of silver and bronze medals at the Beijing Olympics in 2008.

This would all be a little easier to take in if there were different circumstances leading up to these Olympics. For the first time in Canadian Olympic history, the funding was there. These were courses where nobody had even close to the number of training runs on the EXACT courses that are being used than the Canadians. This itself was a point of controversy since other nations were not given as hospitable a welcome to these training runs as in previous Canadian Olympics. For once, we had set our sights on doing something more than "pretty good." Much of the world was thus, hoping for us to fail.

So far, we largely have. It is highly doubted that we will get near Turino's medal count. MAYBE, we'll be able to catch up with Salt Lake City.

We created a culture of "Well that's still not bad!" a long time ago and no 4 or 5 year program is going to change that. While other major contenders will be disappointed with bronze medals, we will celebrate our wooden medals. And with idiocy masquerading as optimism we will say this Olympics was a huge success.

Who do I be racist towards?!?!

2009-12-27T00:40:00.001-05:00

So this is funny. I was interested in that whole story about that Nigerian terrorist. The one who tried to blow up a plane arriving in Detroit on Christmas day. So I Googled it and came up with THIS.

Now the article in itself is nothing huge. But I especially enjoyed the sole comment on the blog: "I've been trying to figure out if the terrorist is a friggin' rag head of a fucking Nigerian nigger!"

I find it hiLARious that the commenter doesn't know which race to ridicule and attach stereotypes to. And even more hilarious that this clearly frustrates him a great deal.

Oh people of the world, how you never cease to amaze...

ATTENTION: Good Judd Apatow Movie!

2009-12-18T20:49:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of illegally downloading "Funny People." This is a movie starring Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Jason Schwartzman, Eric Bana, Aubrey Plaza, and Jonah Hill (I.e. The fat kid from Superbad). It has cameos from Sarah Silverman, Ray Romano, Eminem and a whole bunch more. In short... holy cast batman. The film was written and directed by Judd Apatow. *cue groans*

I did not expect much from a Judd Apatow movie where Adam Sandler played the main character, being that I generally detest both men. But a different approach was taken here than in Apatow's other films. Because it was a dramedy rather than straight comedy, it was able to have that wonderful thing called a plot. Oh, and characters that weren't 1-dimensional. Ahh... the contrast. In fact, besides the excessive use of the word "cock", one might not even know it's a Judd Apatow movie.

With this being certainly the best Judd Apatow movie I'd seen, and with the all-star cast list, I did wonder why this wasn't huge. Upon Wikipedia-ing it, I found this: "The film bombed at the box office and was a financial failure."

This blog really has no point except to say LAME.

Maybe Mr.Apatow will learn that all movies require more typecasted awkward Michael Cera to be successful in the future.

Ugh.

Oh Aaron...

2009-12-13T20:37:00.001-05:00

Why did Aaron Carter never win a Grammy. If this doesn't deserve a grammy, I don't know WHAT does.

Key moments to watch out for...
0:43 - The Volkswagen Beetle = the hottest party car ever. ESPECIALLY in lime green, apparently
1:22 - Aaron Carter WOULD kick out the black guy and the fat guy. *Side note* Somehow I never pictured that "open house" voice to match that body. Interesting...
1:39 - BEST MOMENT. I sincerely hope the "hunny over there" that Aaron "really wants to meet" is the incredibly awkward girl who's sitting AND dancing at the end of the couch.
1:43 - Insert awkward 90's dance sequence
2:28 - Best product placement in the history of lyrics

The following will be the ummm "Further Reading" section of this blog:
- I'm Not Too Old, Not Too Young: Aaron Carter awkward rapping but this time featuring NICK Carter.
- Oh Aaron: OH.EMM.GEE. This one also features Nick. But more importantly, a chorus of foreign 20-something's with accents. I've never heard this. This is borderline offensive.
- I'm Gonna Miss U Forever: I think this was his first song. Thus it featured jean jackets AND plaid. Also, why does his haircut remind me of Michael Jackson? Or maybe I'm thinking Posh Spice...
- Leave It Up To Me: Aaron shows his "rebellious side" again. Features cargo pants and a group dance sequence with Aaron in 3D animation (done in 2001 though). Also features the line "Mom and dad, they'll be getting on my nerves. Working them, working them, is that what I deserve? But after many days, I want them back. Tell me who's going to bake my cake and all that?"
- Crush On You: No THIS is his first single. And Nick is in it again. Hmmm... he didn't even TRY to hide the fact that he was piggybacking on Nick's success.. I can't even criticize the video though. He's kind of adorable.

So I'm probably the only one this fascinated with vintage Aaron Carter videos. But COME ON! That's a problem with the WORLD, not me, cuz these are fucking BRILL!

The Pudding Blog

2009-12-10T01:18:00.001-05:00

When I was younger and I used to eat pudding, you used to be able to pull off the aluminum lid and lick the pudding covered bottom end. This would always make one happy since they would get full use of their pudding cup, especially since a pudding cup RARELY has enough pudding within to satisfy.

But then something happened one day. It was impossible to cleanly rip off pudding lids. The edges seemed to be glued down too much. Thus the lid would come off in stringy segments, the consequence of this being a tragically unlickable pudding lid. This went on for years... until today.

I just had a pudding. The lid was simple to open and I got to lick said lid for the first time in years without being scared of cutting my tongue. Is the tyranny of the pudding-cup-lid-gluers finally over with?!

+2 points for this day.

Dear students,

2009-12-02T18:16:00.001-05:00

The amount of homework/exams you have to do PROBABLY isn't interesting to anyone else besides yourself. You saying "You have 4 essays to do and school is STRESSFUL!" does not make me in turn say "Oh poor Jill. Life sure is hard for her..."

You may have these statuses "Liked." You may get some comments. I can guarantee they will simply be replies from other students about how busy THEY are, possibly accompanied by a To-Do list of assignments you couldn't possibly care less about. You will then realize that your status did not have your full To-Do list and that this person has thus upstaged you. You will probably then list some more things you have to do at this point to even the playing field. By the end, you'll just agree that you're all very busy and important.

So why don't I just give you all what you want to hear right now: "I don't know HOW you do it! I'd NEVER be able to do what you do!!!"

There? Feel validated yet?

The anthem is fine: Please shut up

2009-11-20T00:54:00.000-05:00

I'm pretty proud of myself. I just got that annoying "They're trying to make the Canadian Anthem HINDI!!!" email from my cousin and I sent her a long email back debunking the whole thing. You ever got that? Or I'm sure you've at least seen a few of your dumber friends join the popular Facebook group? Below is the long-winded email, if you have not seen it:

Our National Anthem - at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics
Please read and forward to as many Canadians you can think of - thank you!

WE ARE PROUD CANADIANS
Bruce Allen is on the 2010 Vancouver Olympic Committee and new Canadians (specifically Hindi's/Indian's) want him fired for his recent comments outlined below:
“I am sorry, but after hearing they want to sing the National Anthem in Hindi at the 2010 Olympics- enough is enough. Nowhere or at no other time in our Nation's history, did they sing it in Italian, Japanese, Polish, Irish (Celtic), German, Portuguese, Greek, or any other language because of immigration. It was written in English, adapted into French, and should be sung word for word the way it was written. "

The news broadcasts even gave the Hindi version translation - which was not even close to our National Anthem. I am not the least bit sorry if this offends ANYONE, this is MY COUNTRY; My Grand Dad served in the military, other family members also served, as well as my wife & I served a combined total of 56 years between us. We made many sacrifices for our country and do not feel we should feel obligated to allow invited people we've welcomed with open arms to influence & change our society to better resemble the one they chose to leave to come here!!! - IF YOU AGREE ABOUT THIS GREAT COUNTRY, SPEAK UP BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE
-- Please pass this along.
I am not against immigration. In fact I believe we need more, my ancestors were immigrants -- just come through like everyone else. Get a sponsor; a place to lay your head; have a job; pay your taxes, live by the Rules AND LEARN THE LANGUAGE as all other immigrants have in the past -- and LONG LIVE CANADA!'

It's time we all get behind Bruce Allen, and scrap this Political Correctness His comments were anything but racist, however, there are far too many overly sensitive 'New Canadians' that are attempting to change everything we hold dear.

ARE you PART OF THE PROBLEM?? Think about this: If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone, will we still be the Country of Choice and still be CANADA if we continue to make the changes forced on us by the people from other countries who have come to live in CANADA because it is the Country of Choice??????

Think about it!

IMMIGRANTS, NOT CANADIAN'S, MUST ADAPT.

It's Time for CANADIANS to speak up.
If you agree? Pass this along.

Everytime I read it, it actually gets my blood boiling. I'd go into the reasons why, but instead I'll just copy and paste the email I sent back to my cousin so that I don't get a stress ulcer.

"This email is disgusting and is filled with so many lies its despicable. Firstly, whoever originated this email should at least understand something about the Canadian history they claim to care so deeply about. The anthem was NOT written in English. It was written in French and then ADAPTED into English. Furthermore, I say adapted for a reason, as it was not translated and thus the meaning is slightly different between the two. Thus the idea that the "Hindi version isn't even close" is even more pathetic considering the intense hypocrisy of the statement. I can guarantee these people could care less about the French (and thus original) meaning of the lyrics.

I especially love the part of this email where the writer feels the need to tell us his/her family military history as if this makes him MORE Canadian than others. He does, for example, refer to Canada as the capital lettered "MY COUNTRY" as if it belongs to a lesser degree to these so called Hindi-speaking immigrants who want to "change" the anthem.

This is a textbook example of every statement that's ever begun with "I'm not racist, BUT..." How else might one explain the final words of the email?: "Immigrants, not Canadians, must adapt" as if to say that immigrants are not Canadians.

After picking apart the lies and clear prejudice in this email, I wish it could end there, but it does not. THIS NEVER HAPPENED. The Hindi-anthem-singers the email warns about DON'T EXIST.

This chain email has been around well before the Olympics and almost carbon copies have been created in the States with "Spanish" being the scary language of choice. Here is an educational link for further reading on the hateful email's origin and history: http://www.snopes.com/politics/immigration/canadaanthem.asp

Christina, I encourage you to send everything above this paragraph to everyone you just sent this email to. It's important to debunk this myth that only serves to further spread hate. And from now on, it'd be a good idea to take ALL chain emails warning you about ANYTHING with a HUGE grain of salt. Who knows where they all originate, but 99% of them are pure lies. Sorry if this email seems a little intense; I've become pretty passionate about this topic after receiving a similar email to this about a year ago and I think it's really important that we stop this stuff in its tracks.

Hope all is well,
Adam"

Cheers to anyone who actually read all of this.

Signed just as Canadian as you...
Diego